By Carolyn Bick
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY
Melinda Raebyne
Award-winning Taiwanese American actress and filmmaker Melinda Raebyne is currently working on her third major film, Through My Eyes, which allows children and youth from around the world to tell their own stories about what it is like to come of age where they live. As part of the project, youth from Tacoma’s School of the Arts (SOTA) participated in a 10-week course that taught Tacoma teens how to compose a song for film. The final project will be featured in Raebyne’s film.
The Northwest Asian Weekly sat down with Raebyne to talk about how she tackles painful experiences through film, and how her life experiences and her family—particularly her mother and grandmother—have played important roles throughout her career.
Northwest Asian Weekly
How did you get into filmmaking and acting, and which one came first?
Melinda Raebyne
It was acting that led me to filmmaking. Acting was something that I always wanted to do.
I think that movies took me away to this place where it seemed like everything always had a happy ending—except for Gone with the Wind. I didn’t like that ending [when I was younger], but now that I’m older, I understand that ending more so. It was a healthier ending for Rhett [Butler, the film’s male lead].
My childhood had its struggles. I had some hardships in my childhood. My parents would always say, “Why are you watching black and white? There’s films that are in color, you know.” I was like, “I don’t know.”
I’m just drawn to it. It just seemed like the era of perfection, and everything was tied up in a bow by the end of the film. So, acting was something I was always drawn to.
I took my first acting class when I was in middle school and I remember at the end of the semester, our teacher said, “Okay, now you are officially actors and actresses.” That was when we [still] used the word “actresses.”
I got so excited. It was just something I always wanted to do and pursue. That was really my heart. My passion was to be an actor. I never had any inkling or idea or any thought of wanting to be a director.
That wasn’t my focus and acting was all I wanted to do. But what I was finding difficult and struggled with was finding roles that allowed me to just play a role—not having to be targeted as a certain ethnicity. I can’t hide from the way I look, and it was hard. The roles that I got, I felt, didn’t really highlight my acting ability, either. There were a few.
NWAW
So, people basically cast you because of how you looked?
Raebyne
The “exotic look.” … The roles that I was getting because of my appearance—I wasn’t loving it. Being a hooker, being the one that was the temptress or the one that created the affair—those roles. I’m not saying that was all the roles, but I just felt like that was the role I was given and it didn’t really show my range.
I really wanted to show my range as an actor and so they said, “Well, you know, we’re here in the industry in L.A. (Los Angeles)—create your own film.” I’m like, “Oh, my gosh, what do you mean create?” So I finally got the guts and did it.
I took this class with John Jacobson. He’s here locally in the Northwest, but has ties to L.A. and beyond. I really pushed myself because I’d never done anything like this in writing and there was an opportunity to read your treatment[, a detailed summary of a film,] for your film in front of a class of people.
I read the treatment for Asylum. … When I did that treatment and I read it in front of the class, I remember a guy [saying,] “That would never happen. That doesn’t exist.”
John said, “But could it happen? Could it happen—and if it could happen, then yes, she has a story to tell.”
I remember that, and even when the film was screened, it made a very profound impact and it won awards. But I remember having a male stand up [at a screening] and saying the same thing: “I could not have imagined that that would ever happen.” And then you see all the stuff [with Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein].
We still see it today. We still see men in power not owning up to their behavior.
It takes a lot of strength to say, “This is what happened to me,” because you know that you are going to be ripped apart and it is not fun to be ripped apart in any shape, form, or fashion.
When it comes to sexual behavior—it’s not even dissecting a woman. It is like ripping her guts out in front of the world to see. [We say], “Shame on you, how could you? How could you make such an accusation?” or “You had a drink,” or “You wore something like this,” or “You’re young and you’re promiscuous—you knew what was coming.”
Where is our compassion and humanity? This man who had power or has power, who does not know the word “no”—and if, when he hears the word “no,” has such a visceral response to the word and could lead to even worse behavior unless the person just gives in and does what is demanded—you have to put yourself in that person’s (the survivor’s) shoes.
We have to put ourselves in that person’s shoes and understand they are in survival mode. They are in a mode to ensure that they make it through. They are not thinking about what’s coming next. They just need to know that they’ve got to get through this situation and then deal with the aftermath—the trauma, the pain, the agony, the anger, the frustration, the guilt, the shame.
NWAW
How have your experiences as an Asian American woman influenced your work and your path?
Raebyne
That’s a good question, because I am hapa—I’m mixed[-race].
My mom moved here from Taiwan with none of her family, after she met my dad. A lot of the Asian influence in my work was the lived experience that I had here.
Honestly, I grew up predominantly within the white community, so what you see is more of a product of the strength that I see in my mom, who came here not knowing anything and left her family behind. I always looked at her as this extremely strong, independent woman, but she didn’t give herself a lot of credit for the strength that she had, and the wisdom, because her highest level of education was sixth grade.
But as far as influences culturally and the Taiwanese influence, I link to my grandmother, who went through really, really extreme hardships and made it through. It’s those influences that I take with me.
My mom, when she came to the U.S., it was a shock for her. It was really a shock, and it wasn’t easy for her to acclimate into this society that doesn’t necessarily always welcome immigrants and foreigners. I know she wanted to fit in as much as possible. She had a very strong accent and that also influenced the way people looked at her.
Advocating and uplifting voices that don’t necessarily get the opportunity to be heard in society stems from my own experience from seeing my mom’s experience. I am naturally drawn and attracted to tell those stories.
NWAW
Tell me why you decided to make Asylum and then For Sale.
Raebyne
I picked Asylum because I wanted to utilize that film to highlight my skills as an actor [and] show my range. The idea was that it opened more doors for myself as an actor and get those opportunities that I wanted. I wanted to cross the barrier of … being visually judged. It’s natural in this industry that you get judged for your exterior—that’s just kind of one of the things. You’re put in these categories.
Asylum was a cultivation of bringing various different elements of things that happened to me in real life, along with things that didn’t happen to me. I felt very fortunate that I had tools and the ability to maneuver through trauma that some people don’t necessarily have.
Even though it looked at sexual domestic violence, I really wanted to give a voice to those dealing with mental trauma. I happen to have some experience in that, and physical abuse and verbal abuse, and being exposed to men who have power and take advantage of their power—not in the way that Asylum showed, but still took advantage of their power, where they make women feel like they’re a pawn in their world.
And then, like I said, it stemmed from experiencing physical and verbal abuse. I myself was raped, and … [experienced] trusting people who had the opportunity to advocate and stand up for you, who had that power to do that and didn’t. That’s how Asylum came about.
For Sale came about because I was approached by someone from an organization who heard about my filmmaking and asked if I would be willing to do a piece looking at child sex trafficking.
If I’m telling things that touch on reality, I don’t want to make things up. … With For Sale, I did my research and tried to get a better understanding. Diving into the world of child sex trafficking, I got the opportunity to actually speak with survivors. The interviews from the survivors are actually the voices of the subconscious of the lead girl in the piece.
I was very fortunate. I got support through the City of Tacoma TAIP grant. That money allowed me to create For Sale. It became the first public art piece in Tacoma that looked at child sex trafficking.
NWAW
Tell me about your newest film, Through My Eyes. You told me this is a really important film to you.
Raebyne
I don’t think we realize that we tend to push down the voices of children and youth.
Through My Eyes is really their story from the footage and the film they collect. They’re collecting the footage and sending it to me. What I’ve learned in the development stage is that it will be more fruitful if I am there with them, because getting footage can be hard, and also [I will be] helping, as they’re shooting some things to give them some guidance.
It’s really a film that looks at being a partnership with the youth and teaching them how to capture their stories visually.
I tested this already with 12 youths from various different places around the world, and realized it will be a lot more fruitful if I’m there in person with them.
[The film is] looking at what wisdom can [these children and youth] teach us. I think as we’ve gone into adulting, we sometimes have forgotten and left behind the possibilities of “what ifs” and imaginations, and we’ve been told that they’re nonsense. They’re childlike and we need to forget about them—but the biggest dreams that become reality come from the possibilities of “what ifs.”You think of these people who do these amazing things in the world and they didn’t listen to the nonsense of “no.” They kept going.
You see these children and they are dealing with important issues from anxiety to war zones.
NWAW
Is there anything else you would like to leave our readers with?
Raebyne
I [originally] wanted to escape who I was. I do not want to pretend to be a voice for Asian Americans who aren’t of mixed-race, because there is a difference. My experience, I am not going to say, is the same experience as someone who’s full-blooded Chinese or Japanese or Korean. My experience is mine.
I didn’t feel like I really fit in either world, [white or Taiwanese], and I am who I am today because of the mix of these two worlds that came together—my dad whose bloodline is European American … and then on my mom’s side, it’s completely fresh. I am first generation on my mom’s side. You bring these two worlds together and you get me.
I know what it feels like to not feel like I belonged quite anywhere. Even when I go back to Taiwan—I love my family in Taiwan immensely, and half of them I can communicate with in English.
My mom didn’t teach me Taiwanese or Chinese. My mom—brilliant woman—she spoke three languages. She taught herself to speak English. But I feel this sense of home when I’m there and even though I’m only half, they remind me, “Do not forget that you are Taiwanese, Melinda. Do not forget your bloodline.”
That’s that sense of pride.
I really want the world to stop trying to figure out what I am, and take an opportunity to say, “Hi, my name is so-and-so, what’s your name?” and allow me to say, “Hi, my name is Melinda Raebyne, thank you.”
What [in my films] is like elevating the voices of people that may not get that opportunity, and showing them what courage they have to live and exist in this world and that they are important and that they are being heard, they matter and they belong.
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