By James Tabafunda
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY
Seattle’s Chinatown-International District is mourning the recent death of a humble role model who was one of the neighborhood’s strongest voices, biggest supporters, and main proponents of growth.
Family, friends, and admirers gathered May 11 to remember Paul Mar, an elder whose tireless work benefited the Asian American community. The event, held during Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, highlighted his numerous efforts to foster community solidarity and support his family.
About 175 people, including several of Mar’s mentees, traveled from both near and distant locations, such as San Francisco, to the Wing Luke Museum to honor and celebrate the life of the respected community leader who died last February at 83. He was the museum’s board member emeritus from 1999 to 2024.
Co-hosted by Larry Mar, his brother, and Kelly Yamamoto, the daughter of Jan Tanabe, Paul Mar’s life partner of 27 years, the gathering served as both a testament to Paul Mar’s life and his enduring legacy.
Larry Mar, brother of Paul Mar (Photo by James Tabafunda)
Yamamoto and her daughter, Ashlee Blonski, planned the commemorative event, one marked by an elegant display of visuals at the museum’s community space. It also centered around testimonials about his character and childhood.
Ashlee Blonski, daughter of Kelly Yamamoto (Photo by James Tabafunda)
Located in the center above the podium, a slideshow featured Mar at different stages of his life. Flanking the screen, two large arrangements of white flowers added a solemn and respectful touch to the event.
On one side of the community space, attendees viewed four storyboards, each filled with numerous photos of Mar. On the opposite side of the room, tables were arranged with an abundant selection of food and fresh fruit.
Four storyboards, each filled with numerous photos of Paul Mar (Photo by James Tabafunda)
Local establishments, including Hood Famous Café and Bar, Tai Tung, and Jade Garden, catered the event, providing an array of dishes that highlighted the culinary richness of the community.
Ron Chew, former executive director of the Wing Luke Museum and emcee, highlighted Mar’s critical role in the museum’s development. He credited Mar with navigating major challenges, including disunity and conflict among community members.
“There are people who also rise above the fray, and they’re the ones that propose common-sense solutions,” he said. “Paul figures out a way to make it happen. There are very few people with that sort of skill.”
Chew said there’s only a handful of folks who help make you a better person.
“Paul is that type of person. I think about my life and how every day my life was enriched by Paul and how I learned so much from him.”
Selected to attend the American Legion’s Washington Boys State conference while attending Garfield High School, Paul Mar “was sports editor of the yearbook, managing editor of the student newspaper, and was also in student government,” said Larry Mar. He also worked at their father’s restaurant in the Laurelhurst area, one of Seattle’s first Chinese restaurants outside of Chinatown.
With a bachelor’s in electrical engineering and an MBA from the University of Washington, he worked as a management consultant at Arthur Young & Co. and NBBJ architecture firm, eventually becoming NBBJ’s chief operating officer.
Family life
“It’s really heartwarming to see so many people here,” said Jeff Oberhauser-Lim, nephew of Rosalind Mar, Paul’s wife of 27 years. “I’m not surprised because I know, you know, Uncle Paul was a wonderful, wonderful person.”
He shared one memory of his uncle’s friendly and engaging demeanor when his uncle played an Atari basketball game with him, as a child, in 1972.
“That really made an impression on me,” he said.
“Uncle Paul had a really special way of making you feel special. I think through Uncle Paul’s work and consulting, he had these very special connections,” Oberhauser-Lim said. “Somehow, he got us a private tour of the Kingdome when it was empty, and I got to pitch off the mound. That’s something I’ll never forget.”
To Blonski, the granddaughter of Jan Tanabe, Mar was an amazing person. She understood why her best friend loved him so much and was 11 when her grandmother told her about a new boyfriend named Paul Mar.
Two practices Mar was known for were his caregiving of his family and his penchant for a particular puzzle game. She said he quickly became a member of her family, “cooking family dinners for us,” and being her tutor when she was a college student.
“He even let me help him with Sudoku, which if you know Paul, that was, you know, his thing.”
Losa Wong, married to Larry Mar, recalled her first meeting with Paul in the 1980s. At the time, Paul was married to Rosalind, and Losa had just begun dating Larry.
“After Ros passed away prematurely, suddenly at age 55, more than 25 years ago, Paul started to pay for our children’s private high school tuition, then all the way through college and graduate school,” she said.
Speaking with visible emotion, Wong said, “So, Paul had a great deal to do with how our two children, Christopher and Victoria, developed into the fine adults they are today.”
She noted that her brother-in-law’s selfless spirit, evident in his five decades of community advocacy, enriched not only his family but also the lives of many others.
“I believe that countless direct and indirect beneficiaries of Paul’s generosity over the course of his lifetime and after will no doubt be paying it forward to future generations. I feel heartened and optimistic that Paul’s legacy will endure for many years to come,” Wong said.
Her husband noted, “When I refer to myself as Paul’s little brother, the joke of it is, I don’t think Paul outweighed me ever since I was born,” drawing laughter.
“He’s a very accomplished person. A role model for what I can do or what I can ascribe to be.”
“I don’t remember Paul ever getting in trouble with my parents,” he said about his brother as a child. “He always made good decisions, always projected himself, and was very persuasive.”
“I don’t know if I said it, but I want to say it now. I want to thank him for the care that he gave to his family. He took care of our parents when their health was not good. He took care of all of us, and he took care of Jan, and he gave us an opportunity to take care of him,” Mar said. “The time was just much too short. I love you. I miss you.”
Those gathered at the commemorative event also missed him. In a heartfelt tribute to the late community leader, attendees raised paddles adorned with his photograph, a gesture of remembrance and respect. The paddles, placed on each table, served as meaningful visuals of Mar.
Attendees raised paddles adorned with Paul Mar’s photograph (Photo by James Tabafunda)
Community activism and his love for the community
When an application asked about his greatest pleasure in life, Mar answered, “to help make my community a better place to live, work, and play.” One of his contemporaries in community activism, Dennis Su, a retired architect, reflected on the void left by Mar’s absence.
“The loss of his service is obvious,” he said. “I’m hoping that by having this celebration of life, it will inspire more people to use him as a guiding light.”
Leeching Tran, International Community Health Services (ICHS) foundation board member for the last nine years, gave a second example of Mar’s critical role in making things happen.
The ICHS Shoreline Clinic, which opened Sept. 14, 2014, “would not have been possible without Paul acting as a project manager,” she said about her mentor.
“I didn’t really get to know him until I began working with him in 2019 as part of the AiPACE capital campaign steering committee,” Tran said. Aging in PACE Washington plans to open a senior-care facility on the ground floor of the Beacon Pacific Village in the city’s Beacon Hill neighborhood.
“With Paul’s spirit and in his honor, I’m committed to finishing this capital campaign as strongly as we can to raise the rest of that $25 million dollars and to make AiPACE a reality and carry his love of community and determination the rest of the way.”
Mar mentee and Seattle Chinatown-International District Preservation and Development Authority (SCIDpda) Co-Executive Director Jamie Lee said, “Thank you, Paul, for everything that you’ve done for our community, for SCIDpda, and we look forward to carrying on your legacy.”
Gloria Wakayama, a board member for the museum for over 20 years, said, “Tonight, we toast to him, a true example of service leadership to this entire community.”
Attendees at the commemorative event received stemless wine glasses featuring a purple “PM” monogram as gifts. “The family wants you to keep these,” Chew said. “So whenever you think about having a drink, think of Paul and have this memento to treasure.”
Tran said, “He truly never stopped working to better our neighborhood and our community, and we will forever be grateful.”
James Tabafunda can be reached at info@nwasianweekly.com.