By Kai Curry
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY
The “Fast & Furious” franchise is extravagant, it’s exaggerated—it’s EXTRA. It’s also probably the franchise with the best family values out there—and that’s weird to say, yet completely true. “Fast X,” the latest—and I’m not going to say last—in the series, has these values in its theme.
Unless you’re the villain. Then the theme is death and suffering.
The Torreto Family accepts anyone into their family—and once you’re in, you’re in for life. They will do anything in their power to help you, save you, teach you how to Tokyo Drift, whatever, and at the same time accept whatever mission “the Agency” has for them. In this installment, though, “the Agency” has a new head—Aimes (Alan Ritchson)—and he’s not so nice. To him, Toretto and his gang are just thugs who have managed to make a pretty much legal life out of illegal shenanigans. He’s not wrong. But he also makes “the Agency” look darn disloyal—a major sin in the Toretto circle, if not the majorest. Once Dom’s (Vin Diesel) gang is framed by new villain, Dante (Jason Momoa), the Agency is more than happy to hunt them down.
That suits Dante fine. As long as nobody gets killed too quickly. That’s no fun, you know? And Dante is all about having fun while he kills people. He’s out for revenge because 10 years ago (there’s your multi-meaningful “X”), Dom killed his dad, Brazilian kingpin Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). Dante wants to make Dom suffer by taking out the people Dom loves. It’s a stereotype, but it happens. Even if your dad is a total a-hole, and never said a nice word to you, you gotta take vengeance if someone removes him from your life, according to Dante—and every gangster in cinema.
Due to Dante’s master plan to ruin Dom’s life, “Fast X” is a walk down memory lane. Multiple times, Dom’s life flashes before his eyes. Might as well call it “Nostalgia X.” Everyone we know and love in the franchise so far makes an appearance: we’ve got Latinos; we’ve got Brits; we’ve got Asians—ummm, okay, one Asian, Han (Sung Kang); we’ve got Ludacris (who just got his star on Hollywood Boulevard); we’ve got brothers that used to be enemies like Jakob (John Cena), enemies that still kinda are like Cipher (Charlize Theron), reminders of lost friends, including a tribute to Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker); and we’ve got Pacific Islanders in the form of Momoa.
That’s how “Fast X” justifies Momoa’s presence in the movie as himself. It’s a tiny line over halfway through—you’ll miss it if you’re not listening—when they tell us that Dante’s mom is a Pacific Islander. Momoa is in no way convincing to me as a Brazilian criminal mastermind. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived in Hawai’i and I know that the bigger someone is in the Islands, the more likely he/she/they is a teddy bear. A fierce warrior, credit where credit is due, but a teddy bear. Add to this that Momoa wears his same wardrobe throughout—the baggy pants because he wears a traditional Hawaiian loincloth, or malo, at all times in real life and will not remove it for the sake of a movie, I don’t think—all the jewelry, the long hair, the pastel colors.
At least put him in black more often, please! The only times in the movie that Dante seemed evil to me was when he licked Isabel’s (Daniela Melchior) face and when he had Dom’s young son, Little Brian (Leo Abelo Perry) in the car with him. “Fast X” over and over again strives to make Dante seem evil, but I just couldn’t buy it. There are Joker-esque moments when he plays with corpses. He traipses about, he makes light of tremendous misery, he’s very determined. But mostly, he’s the pan-like horned “Flip” from “Slumberland.” Every time he goes to hurt someone, you just think he’s about to help them. When he rolls up in his purple Impala, yeah, I was waiting for that, and that was impressive, but that was street racing impressive, not sadistic villain impressive.
Let’s get to the cars. We all know that, in the Toretto Family, we worship fast, flashy cars, and cars are part of what it means to be in the Toretto Family. There is plenty here to tantalize—a gold lambo; Shaw’s (Jason Statham) McLaren (which I only vaguely recall as I believe it was parked, not driven); an El Camino; a green Porsche (my personal fave and one I might drive in real life as opposed to my other fave, Dante’s lavender beast, which I would never drive but love anyway); of course, more than one iteration of Dom’s trademark Dodge Charger; a Datsun 240Z; a Ford Fairlane; and for some reason a frowsy Aston Martin that Han gets stuck with (he protests that it’s awesome, more than a match for the lambo, but we don’t see that happen).
I know we’re not supposed to care but there are holes. SPOILER ALERT! At one point, Shaw rushes off to save Queenie (Helen Mirren), and we never see either of them again. At another point, Tess (Brie Larson), daughter of Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) goes to the Agency’s secret lab/torture chamber/prison in Antarctica and tells Letty (Michelle Rodriquez) she’s going to save her, then we are told that Tess was last seen in Brazil. And there are, of course, highly unlikely saves, rescues, and gigantic floods and fire bombs from which people will walk out.
That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
“Fast X” is a thrill ride. The whole point is for it to keep going. Dom and his family will always make sure no one is left behind if they can do anything at all to stop it. Whatever death defying stunt, whatever impossible trick their muscle car can survive, it’s gonna happen. That’s what we love about it. You will walk out giving your fam a hug and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Kai can be reached at info@nwasianweekly.com.