EDITORIAL: Beyond black and white

I’m not a police officer or policy maker; I am not a mental health expert and I don’t have the silver bullet to eliminate gun violence.

I am a woman, a mother, a human being, and I know that my heart aches for humanity and the events involving police shootings in the past two weeks.

I spoke at length with a Black friend of mine at a barbecue this past weekend.

He was raised in New Jersey and Brooklyn during mafia boss John Gotti’s heyday.

He said as a Black teen, he never feared the mafia. He feared the police more.

He told me outside of a traffic infraction, he has never been detained by police for a legitimate reason. He has cooperated every time and still has had guns in his face and heard statements like, “I’ll blow you away.”

Being Asian, and a woman, that has never been a reality for me.

Seeing flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror and then seeing an officer approach in my side view mirror after I pull over, don’t make me wonder if I’m about to get killed.

The worst that comes to mind is, “I’m going to be late for work,” or “How much is this fine going to cost me?” Never “I’m about to die.”

I cannot wrap my head around being fearful of the institution that is supposed to protect and serve. The only “fear” I have is respect for police officers, who choose to put on a uniform and badge every day, and go to work knowing the risks involved.

Statements by Black Lives Matter protesters that police are out to assassinate Black men sounded extreme to me.

But now, the events on July 5 and 6 make me wonder …

July 5, Baton Rouge, La.: A cellphone video captured by a bystander captures two police officers outside a convenience store yelling at a Black man to “get on the ground!” One cop rushes the man, who we now know as Alton Sterling, 37, then throws him on the hood of a car and the two tumble down onto the pavement. The assisting officer quickly comes in to help physically restrain

Sterling. As the first officer appears to frisk Sterling, the cop yells, “He’s got a gun, gun!” The second officer takes out his firearm, points it directly at Sterling and says, “You f*****g move, I swear to God!”

Over the next two seconds, some unintelligible words are spoken, and there appears to be some sort of struggle, where Sterling and the officers move. Two shots ring out, presumably from the officer’s gun.

It was followed by the sound of at least four more shots as the camera veers away.

July 6, Falcon Heights, Minn.: 32-year-old Philando Castile had been driving his girlfriend, Diamond Reynolds, and her 4-year-old daughter, who was in the back seat, when they were stopped by police allegedly for a broken taillight. They had just finished grocery shopping.

What came next, the world knows. Castile had been reaching for his wallet, Reynolds said, when he informed the police officer that he was carrying a handgun. Before he could show his permit to carry, Castile was shot five times.

Reynolds began filming the aftermath on her phone. In the nine-minute video, blood soaks his shirt. He groans in pain. His head rolls back as he begins to lose consciousness. During the entire live-streamed encounter, the police officer kept his handgun pointed at Castile. In the video, that cop, who is Latino, sounded as if he was in a state of, “Oh s***, what just happened? What did I just do?”

I’m not here to point the finger at police officers. I realize they have a difficult job. The danger they face is real. But there has to be a balance of “shoot first, ask questions later” versus “I am about to take a shot that could end a human life.”

I don’t have the answers.

I’m not a police officer or policy maker; I am not a mental health expert and I don’t have the silver bullet to eliminate gun violence.

I am a woman, a mother, a human being, and I know that my heart aches for humanity.

Ruth Bayang can be reached at editor@nwasianweekly.com.