Cultivating holiday joy and beyond 2025

By Assunta Ng
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY

My first Christmas after my retirement was supposed to be nice, quiet, and uneventful. Only it wasn‘t. Actually, it was the opposite…

It wasn’t a perfect holiday. But the contradictions and the imperfections during the holidays resulted in unexpected joy.

My original formula for holiday joy: Eat freely, play more, pray a little, and yes, amplify love—a magic ingredient in life. I told myself, “No work, not even volunteering. Please, let there only be good news.” This time last year, I was still sweating it out writing my columns, including about the Seattle City Council election—Tanya Woo had lost, which meant we had lost our chance of increased Asian representation.

This year, I was so thrilled to have no deadlines—no stories to write after retiring as a community journalist for four decades.

However, people still pitch me story ideas, even though both the Northwest Asian Weekly and Seattle Chinese Post are not mine anymore. I hate to disappoint, but I no longer have influence, nor the inside scoop.

I did end up having a wonderful Christmas. What was the secret?

It’s not so much a secret as it is developing an ability to recognize joy from both ordinary and extraordinary activities and circumstances—and the determination to make things happen for yourself. You are the designer of your own life story. It’s up to you to make it fun, interesting, and momentous.

Here’s how.

Just show up and explore life

You may have realized that I have broken my own rules. I am writing. Fate has a peculiar way of wandering to my pasture, tempting me to act differently.

I am failing miserably as a silent watcher, I have discovered. On Dec. 17, I organized a community reception for my friend for 60-plus people at Tai Tung Restaurant. My friend that initiated the idea had lots on her plate, so I stepped in.

The guests who attended were not just community leaders. They were community aunties and uncles of diverse communities who have dedicated themselves to developing the next generation of leaders of color. They have fought tirelessly for the greater good in our city and our state.

The event empowered our community. The leaders’ speeches energized the audience. How could I say no to such an event when I knew the outcome would be impactful on our community? It wasn‘t only a joy for me to produce the event—I was proud of myself for stepping up and pulling it off in a short notice. Pride in myself is an even more powerful emotion than joy.

Yes, I may have broken my own promise of not volunteering and not getting involved, but…

Why I write

There is a reason I am writing this story. In the midst of the holiday spirit, I never want to deal with sad news, but two days before Christmas, at Uwajimaya, I bumped into a friend I have not seen for the past three years. We first met about 10 years ago. A lot has happened over time. I was aware of this friend’s financial ruin in her real estate venture.

What struck me most seeing her again was her eyes. The spark in her eyes had vanished. Her face was lined with dark clouds of sorrow. We were both surprised but happy to see each other. And we hugged. I asked her what I thought was a normal question. But what I thought was a normal question ended up being a dagger in the heart—I was unprepared for her nightmare.

“Is your family okay?” I asked, referring to their financial loss.

“Something happened,” she said.

I paused.

“My son died.”

In that moment, I thought about how he must’ve been in his 20s.

“How?” I asked.

“Suicide,” she said.

Tears welled up in my eyes. There’s no need for me to know the details of her son’s plight. I just hugged her.

Even though I was in shock, I still surprised myself with my next question. The instinct of a journalist’s curiosity quickly fell away. Instead, I transformed my curiosity to one of a caring and compassionate friend with no judgement.

“How do you heal yourself?” I asked.

“Meditate.”

“That’s good. Living in the present helps.”

I shared with her news of my husband’s cancer and ways I’ve learned to help myself and him not to live in fear.

“We have so many fears,” she said.

I told her I credited my husband’s doctor for helping my husband not to be afraid. I had asked the doctor if my husband could travel last year because he was scared to go anywhere.

I told my friend, “The doctor said the most beautiful thing, ‘There is no reason he shouldn’t travel.’”

Since then, I’ve modified the line for myself and friends: “There is no reason you should be afraid.”

“There is no reason you shouldn’t follow your dreams.” 

“There is no reason you should give up.”

“There is no reason you shouldn’t fight this.”

“Do you remember years ago when you (the Northwest Asian Weekly) did a story on me?” my friend asked, reminiscing. “I am still that girl…”

“I still admire that girl,” I responded. I still admire her zest, vision, warmth, vibrancy, and generosity… and yes, also her beauty and style. Impeccable!

I smiled and hugged her one more time before we said goodbye. I hope this won’t be the last time I see my friend. I was grateful that we have reconnected! May her son rest in peace.

A prayer I wrote for my friend:

May you have the courage to face life as is
May you overcome traumas and pain
May you be free of guilt and shame
May you have strength to live and just be
May you be reborn with resilience in spirit
And your survival skills blossom far and high
May you find joy and laughter soon
May you feel hope today and tomorrow
And peace fills your heart everyday

Let this be your prayer too, readers!

Savoring joyful moments

Fun with kids

“Can we go to the maze?” My grandnephews begged their parents, referring to my office.

They call my old and empty office a maze because of the arrangement of cabinets, tables, chairs, and partitions. They know how to take advantage of their imaginations, applying it to everything and everywhere all at once! Kids have a new way of looking at things, and I love them.

They run like crazy, playing hide-and-seek every time they visit my office. And I play along every time. Through them, I have found the child in me. Their innocence, screams of joy, and excitement made me glow. They exhibited happiness and exuberance in my office as if they were having the time of their lives. Why can‘t we adults do that—living fully every moment and making full use of what we’ve got right before us?

After the chase, kids picked ornaments from our Christmas tree, which I designed this year. It was a tree on the wall, a new concept. To be more environmentally conscious, I didn’t buy a real or use our faux tree. Instead, I just saved our ornaments and put them on the wall. We didn’t spend a single penny on the wall tree. The joy and fun of making things resonated with me.

While I told the kids they were allowed to pick any ornaments they liked from my tree, their parents said they couldn’t.

“It’s a trade,” their dad explained. “You have to make ornaments before you visit grand aunt.”

They created clever ornaments for my tree, and in the trade, they picked the Christmas tree and the star ornaments I made two decades ago. Fair is fair.

Meals of triumph

Asian culture is always about food—something I embrace heartily.

My mother said I was born with a fortunate mouth, blessed with the fortune of consuming limitless fine food in my lifetime. She said I was always in the right place at the right time whenever good food was served. (Thank you, Mom, you gave me the gift of life and a fortunate mouth.)

During the holidays, I had several mouth watering meals. There was one dinner I called “a triumphant dinner.” (Sorry, I can’t name the restaurant because its management has been charging diners $2 for tea per customer. While this is normal for Chinese restaurants, I drink only hot water—$2 for a glass of hot water is unreasonable and unacceptable!)

Last September at this restaurant, my friend and I only had cold water and hot water, respectively, and we were charged $4 for it! This is not about the money but the principle. After I complained, the owner waived our charges.

Later, however, I hosted another couple at the same restaurant. We all drank hot water. Again, $8 was shown on my bill for hot water for four people. I raised the issue again. The owner said it’s $2 per person for the seat. Upon my dissatisfaction, the owner eliminated the charges again.

Finally, a week ago, we hosted a dinner at this restaurant for our nephew‘s family with two little kids. Our dinner was outstanding. As for the charges on the water, it was dropped completely. The owner said, “We’ve changed the policy.”

The water is now free. Hurray!

A joyful lunch was held at the grand opening of Seattle Harbor Restaurant (formerly China Harbor) on Dec. 22. It was quite a challenge for former owners Lo-Yu and Hsiao-lin Sun to find new owners to continue the business and their legacy, but they did eventually find Vincent Zhao to take over. I was among the 300 guests who attended. How happy I was to be present and congratulate them! As community pillars for over 40 years, the Suns have always been accommodating for all community events and budgets. Thank you.

The most exquisite Christmas meal I had was with the Consul General of Japan, Makoto Iyori, and his wife, Yuko, at their residence. I couldn’t believe that I was invited as one of the five guests. The dinner was spectacular: A six-course meal with superb cooking and gorgeous presentation, from Dungeness crab to scallops, from A5 Wagyu beef to soba inari and ramen, from sake lees soup (also known as salmon kasujiru) to sashimi. On top of it, our lively conversation touched on everything, from travel to cultures to world affairs.

At my request, my friends found the best Mediterranean restaurant in Seattle after extensive research. We missed this cuisine so much after traveling in Europe that we reminiscenced about those cuisines day and night. We were afraid that Seattle might not have such a restaurant. But Harissa Mediterranean Cuisine is not only authentic, but fine and distinctive in its cooking and varieties.

The most unexpected treat this holiday dinner season was eating razor clams with rice vermicelli in a tasty sauce at a friend’s dinner. The last time I ate these clams was more than a year ago in a Chinatown restaurant. It’s hard to find them at stores and restaurants as it’s seasonal and in short supply.

Inspiring lights

It’s not Christmas without lights. They are art. Every time I see the sparkling lights around the city neighborhoods, I smile. The creativity, craftsmanship, and beauty enchanted me. It may be too late to see more holiday lights by the time this article is posted, so please let them be part of your holiday spirit, traditions, and journey in the future. You will be inspired.

Holiday shows

What brought me bliss this holiday season is experiencing new things. I felt joy even dressing up for special holiday dinners as I’ve implored different hosts to do so, too. Novelty can enhance curiosity, stimulate our brains, and boost our mood. Since the pandemic, I had not watched a movie in a theater. Anything I have not experienced for a while feels exciting and new. During the holidays, I made up for this by going to shows and movies more than usual. Seattle offers all kinds of possibilities.

Watching the movie “Wicked” in a Seattle movie theater was high on my list. What impressed me was the major roles Asian Americans play in the movie. Jon M. Chu’s skills and creativity in directing a musical (after directing another successful film, “Crazy Rich Asians”) was brilliant.

Award-winning actor Michelle Yeoh, who played one of the key roles, Madame Morrible, and Bowman Yang, a funny character, both made strong statements about Asians’ potential and future in Hollywood. Every time Yang appeared on the screen, I couldn’t help laughing because he (and his expressive face) is so funny on Saturday Night Live.

Some friends have said they’ve already seen “Wicked” on Broadway (so they weren’t as excited about the movie). However, a play can’t compare with a movie’s magical cinematography, massive and colorful visuals, and dynamic sound effects. If you haven’t seen “Wicked,” go and enjoy this four-star movie. It’s our statement of support for Asian Americans in the entertainment industry.

Messiah

It has been decades since I learned about the 282-year-old Handel Messiah Christmas concert. The truth is, it is only exciting towards the end and for about five minutes (in a two-and-a-half-hour concert). Was it worth it though? Well, it turned out to be quite an adventure just to get a ticket.

I searched online for a ticket. The Seattle Symphony Orchestra’s site said, “There are no tickets available,” for the last concert.

I thought, should I go or not?

If you know me, you already know the answer.

Five minutes before the 2 p.m. concert, I arrived at Benaroya Hall’s ticket window. I couldn’t find parking downtown, as the Seahawks game was going on about the same time. Taking a risk, I parked in a three-minute zone.

“I like to buy one ticket,” I said to the counter salesperson. I was the last person in the ticket line.

“I just have one ticket left,” he replied.

Wow! I was lucky!

“It’s $26.50. It’s half price,” he said.

“Why?” I didn’t mind paying in full. Leaving empty-handed was unlikely for me.

“It’s the holiday season,” he said, explaining the discount.

Wow, I got the last ticket of the last sold-out concert!

It was a pretty good seat, too, so I could take photos. Imagine me being the last person standing at the end of the line after 10,000 people had already gotten their tickets during the season. I got to see the concert, just like those first ticket holders who might have spent hours getting advanced tickets.

The lesson is, if I stay home, nothing will happen. (And no, I didn’t get a parking citation.)

The first two hours of the concert was really, really slow. I closed my eyes and listened.

Confession: I am not much of an opera person. I like listening to classical music, but not classical singing—soprano and altos, and whatnot—it’s too profound for me.

But the Hallelujah chorus roared and woke me in my meditative state. So many stood up, including me, during the chanting. According to the program book, King George II of England, “Rose from his seat, enthralled by the beauty of Handel‘s music. Not wanting to offend the king, … the audience also stood.”

So I stood with some of the audience in honor of Handel’s talents, remarkable music, and history. Everyone should attend at least once to appreciate the Messiah and to share the story later. The thundering, heavenly voices of the choirs are still humming in my mind. (Search on YouTube and you can hear renditions of Hallelujah, some even in rock n‘ roll styles.)

Grand Kyiv Ballet

The last ballet show I saw was in 2013. This year, we watched Grand Kyiv Ballet’s Snow Queen at the Paramount Theater. To be able to watch and support Ukrainians perform in Seattle and all over Washington state was fabulous as the country is fighting fiercely against the Russia invasion of Ukraine.

The ballet style in Snow Queen is my preference—classical and modern ballets blended together, including some choreography that reminded me of West Side Story. The show was much more lively and faster-paced in the second half, which was ideal for us who are not the usual ballet fans. But the surprise and the best moments were seeing four Asian dancers out of the 10-member Snowflakes. (Those dancers were not part of the Ukraine troupe.)

I have revealed my sources, examples, and reasons for joy. Many are not that hard to attain. I am sure you have several more versions of joy to share. Make it a daily habit to reflect and experience joy, pride, gratitude, and hope. Even in tough times, I make myself smile and laugh. Sometimes, I laughed in tears of joy. It’s a method to distract one’s self from negative emotions.

As Julie Andrews sings in “The Sound of Music”:

When I am feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things. And then, I don‘t feel so bad. 

Never forget your favorite joyful moments as they are yours forever.

 

All photos in this story are by Assunta Ng.

Assunta Ng can be reached at assunta@nwasianweekly.com.