By Kai Curry
NORTHWEST ASIAN WEEKLY
Growing up is hard. It’s even harder when your dad is gone, your sister is a pain, your friends are wannabe gangsters—and you’re Asian in America. The peer pressure is a special kind of intense for boys who feel like they have to pretend to be men. If you’ve forgotten how hard it is or was, Sean Wang’s new film, “Dìdi,” is the perfect primer. It will bring back memories (good and bad) and could prompt you to ask yourself: When did you stop lying to please other people?
Wang, a first generation Taiwanese American, born in San Jose, California, wrote and directed “Dìdi.” When the Asian Weekly spoke to Wang earlier in the year regarding his short film, “Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó,” he stated that he considers “Dìdi” to be “part of the same family.” In fact, Wang’s own grandmother, Chang Li Hua, stars in this new film as the paternal grandmother who is part of the small nuclear family that exists in California while the absent dad works in Taiwan.
The year is 2008. All I remember about that year is the housing market crash, but if you were a teenager, the same age as “dìdi” (played by Izaac Wang, no relation…I don’t think?!), you probably remember a lot more. Izaac has already carved out a name for himself in several films like “Raya and the Last Dragon” and “Good Boys.” It’s the summer before high school, and dìdi, or Chris, struggles to fit in. The FOMO is skyrocketing and he has a crush on a white girl. Izaac presents a charming innocence (exaggerated by his acne-ridden complexion) that can turn to very convincing teenager anger or angst in a heartbeat. Like we do, Chris keeps everything bottled up, trying to impress everyone, mostly by being someone who he isn’t, or isn’t yet, and generally failing—but learning, ultimately, that it’s better to be yourself. Lies don’t work in the long run.
I believe this is Wang’s first full-length film as a writer (he has directed previously), and it played to rave reviews at Sundance before being picked up by Focus Features. For a first effort at both writing and directing something other than a short, “Dìdi” is incredible. You will be amazed and thrilled at how precisely Wang and his team recreate the era of the early 2000s, for instance. They recreate the social media world of that time: we were still on MySpace and Facebook had a completely different vibe. As Chris spends a lot of his time on those platforms, then we naturally spend a lot of time there, too. We watch him try to navigate these precarious online spaces. Who is friends with whom? Who is listed as their “top friends” (oops, not me). Who is crushing on who? What does my crush like so I can pretend to like it, too? Yikes. It’s exhausting. Like today, Chris is constantly trying to promote himself with a crafted image.
Wang’s directorial touch is both delicate and confident. He does not waver for a moment and he knows from start to finish exactly where he is taking us. Masterful symbolism is engaged via the “delete” and the “block” buttons online. Delete that whole part of my life. Block that person. Each time, it represents a change in Chris or a new phase in this roller coaster summer. There’s the moment he’s trying to impress some older skateboarders so he changes his screen names from “Big Wang” and “WangWang” to, yeah, Chris. Good move, dude. In addition to being sexually stupid, those other names were racist and derived from the preferences of Chris’s immature social circle, with whom he has a falling out (though I don’t think he fully processes all of this).
At the same time as Chris is seemingly burning bridges, though, he and we are reminded that relationships are fluid and flexible. Some friends, you might have a fight, especially at that age, but later you’ll be friends again because you still have that foundation. Others you will abandon forever or they will abandon you (and we should keep it that way—there was a reason). Wang is adept at showing us that people have layers. We are all multidimensional. We have an inner life. And we have an outer life that is apt to change as we travel our journey. This is accomplished with everyone in Chris’s family, not just the main character. The mother, played by Joan Chen (the star power), struggles to raise her children well as basically a single mom. The kids lash out at her. Grandma criticizes her and credits the absent dad with doing all the work.
“I have dreams, too,” says Mom. “I sometimes wonder, what if I hadn’t married? What if I didn’t have kids?” Yes, moms think these things and simultaneously adore their children. They are individuals.
There are multiple moving moments in this film related to this layering phenomenon. One is when grandma changes in one afternoon from full of energy to depleted. As they put her gently into bed (the love is there shown by Mom’s hands clasping hers, even if they were just arguing), Grandma wonders, “How much longer do I have?” She realizes out loud that she might not make it to see dìdi graduate high school. It’s probably not a new realization, but it’s clear that it’s the first time she has voiced these inner fears to the rest of the family. That’s poignant. Another instance has to do with the transformation that happens between dìdi and his older sister (Shirley Chen) as she prepares to leave for college. I won’t spoil that, as it’s too precious.
“Dìdi” might not be a movie you would think to go watch if you are prone to action films, let’s say. Even though “Dìdi” features a large Asian American cast, including both East Asian and South Asian actors, due to the limited theatrical release, and the deceptively benign subject, it might not attract the audiences one would expect, or that it should. And you should go see it. If only to remember and honor that journey you once took as a teen, to remember and honor how much you have grown, and to remember that the people around you are going through a lot, too.
Kai can be reached at newstips@nwasianweekly.com.