My friend got a new boyfriend, and she found a new job after sweating four years of college.
Most people would feel on top of the world, celebrating success and feeling bliss. Yet, she seems to be cranky.
In fact, I have interacted with a lot of grumpy people lately. They rarely smile. They enjoy blaming others for their unhappiness, and seldom appreciate what they have.
I am not a psychiatrist, but I study people from afar to observe why they don’t smile any more.
1. Don’t overwork
My friend is a “miracle worker.” For days and weeks, she can work without breaks and sometimes sleep—all in the name of money.
Having good work ethics is sound, but it is at the expense of losing herself, interest in life, and being numb to everything surrounding her. Sure, her body functions, but mentally, she is exhausted. She doesn’t have a life outside work. She has no time for friends or her family.
“She is mad that we don’t call her to hang out,” another friend said, “But when we called her, she is always busy with work.”
Then she blames others for neglecting her. And she is taking everything personally. She fights about tiny issues and gets angry easily. What she doesn’t understand is that she has chosen her job over her friends. Naturally, her friends have left her.
Balance helps us to appreciate life more. Learn to say “no” is the best way to attain a balanced life.
2. Money shouldn’t be the only goal
If money is your only goal in life, you better think twice. Money can buy you security, but not true happiness and satisfaction. The more money you make, the more you feel you have to make more. And then you want to compete with people who should be your neighbors. It is an no-end game.
It’s essential to rethink you life’s goal.
Besides money, what else do you care about?
3. Whining is not the way
If you do nothing but complain, things won’t get better. No one else can help you.
Complaining is not the answer. But if you get up and do something about it, even though it may not work at first, you automatically feel better. Eventually, solutions can be found because you have taken small steps to correct a problem.
4. Sharing your problems
Coordinating all the day-to-day tasks of publishing newspapers can be challenging and very difficult. I used to burden all the problems on myself. Now, I share my concerns with my staff and family. On several occasions, solutions appear at the table through brainstorming.
Instantly, I feel relief and hopeful again. It is important to remind myself that it’s about teamwork when it comes to publishing the papers. No one can do it by herself.
5. Empathy for others
I spend a lot of time listening to my staff and friends’ worries. When you have empathy for your people, you are able to put things into perspective. You won’t feel that your troubles are unique. Things that happen in the world are 10 times worse than what have affected you.
Consequently, it prepares you to deal with challenges because you are able to see things wide and far.
6. Don’t let negativity invade
Many people are stuck in a negative view and also in the past. Research has found that 60 percent of people have a negative view toward the world.
Why? Perhaps, there is too much bad news than good news. (You can blame us!) The media is inclined to print more bad news than good. We are overwhelmed by national and global disasters, wars, hunger, and injustice.
Try to look toward the future and often the bright side. You can only see possibilities when you are optimistic.
Yes, the glass is half full and not half empty! At the end of the day, don’t count those lousy things that happen to you, but the goodness you see and the nice things that have touched you and your family and friends.
7. Doing it with love
Service means you have done small things with great love, said Mother Teresa. When I do things with love, it makes me happy. It instantly relaxes my body and replenishes my soul. I often celebrate small successes rather than waiting to hit the jackpot.
See the faults in others often tend to make us cranky. So look for others’ merits. Smile and congratulate yourself and your family and friends often. My friend Jane Nishita is great about all the positives in life. Thank you, Jane.
If you want to change your outlook, find other passions in life to renew yourself, that don’t have to do with material wealth or your work. Over time, you will see the difference. (end)